1st Quarter Review

Since today marks the end of the 1st Quarter of the New Year, I thought I would take some time to review the resolutions I made:

 

1.      Finish my Master's - Still on track to graduate, May 2nd, 2009.

2.      Improve my 5K time and finish under 30 minutes (and then some) - This can officially be crossed off.  My split at the 10K was 29:14.  Prior to this, my 5K time right around 31:00.  I have all confidence that it will continue to get faster as well.

3.      Travel outside of the US - still working on this. Currently planning a cruise the week of Labor Day.  It's only to Mexico, but, it's a vacation out of the country.  Not as exotic as I had hoped, but, should be fun nonetheless.

4.      Get back to my "Pre-Florida" weight - This has been slow going.  I dropped a total of 6lbs so far this year.  But, I put 3 back on the past weekend (damn those fresh fried sweet potato chips from Springtime Tallahassee).  But, I'm hoping to get back on track and then some this week.  I was already a pound lighter (of those three) today.

5.      Prove to the world (or at least my friends) that 30 is the new 20 - I'm pretty sure I'm going to have a "Birthday Weekend" this year.  My b-day falls on a Sunday.  People don't come to parties on Sundays.  So, I'm thinking, let's go dancing on Friday night, then, maybe dinner and some cocktails on Saturday night so when midnight hits I can officially celebrate.  My BFF is looking into coming into town with her hubby, so that should make for a fun weekend.

6.      Become more well-read - Slowly but surely this is coming along.  I just finished The Mummy by Anne Rice.  I'm currently reading On The Road by Jack Kerouac.  I'd like to get to some of the books on my bookshelf I've started but never finished.  Including Don Quixote, and The Decameron. 

7.      Spend more time in my music - I've been doing pretty well on this.  In fact, recently music has been one of my distractions from doing my work for school.  Annoyingly enough, I'm not learning piano fast enough to my liking.  I want to wake up and be a pro already.  Believe it or not, its frustrating transitioning instruments, especially when the music appears really easy to my eyes, but my fingers can't seem to make it work.  I might start taking piano lessons.  But, I also really want to find a community orchestra to play in as well.  I can do it all, right?

8.       Get ahead in my career (kind of goes along with goal #1) - I have applied to a few federal jobs in the DC area (feds seem to be the only one hiring).  I need to start networking more with individuals in the private sector of GIS here in Tallahassee.  I hate the public sector here (i.e. State of Florida).  You can't get promoted unless someone in the higher position retires or dies.  However, the public sector isn't hiring much since they are mostly contractors for the State of Florida, and if you haven't heard, we're in a budget crisis.  What fun. 

9.      Participate in a triathlon - I currently plan to participate in the Freedom Springs Triathlon on July 4, 2009.  I have no idea what to expect.  I think I'm going to go watch the Red Hills Triathlon this weekend.  I specifically want to focus on how to do the "transitions" - i.e. water to bike, bike to running.  I'll probably just wear my running shoes to bike in and end up wearing my swim suit for the whole thing.  I don't have those fancy clip on pedals like some people do - not to mention, I have a mountain bike anyway, not a road bike.  I won't be breaking any records, but, I'd like to finish in a decent time.  I'm semi nervous, and I wish there was a sprint triathlon later in the year so I can give myself more time to train for it.  I might still look into this.  But, I should just suck it up and go for it.

 

Well, there you have it.  Q1 in review.  So far, I'm pretty happy with my progress.  Hopefully, once school ends, I can start focusing on 6 and 7 more.  I really need work on 8, and I feel that will be a year long process.  But, it will be good for me.

ANTM Season 13 here I come!

Training for: Freedom Springs Triathlon

Cardio: 2 miles - walking on breaks - 165

Weights: 3x(upper body 4x20, abs 4x20, lower body 4x20) alternating exercises for each of the 3 sets.

Food: Breakfast - Oatmeal - 160

Lunch - Leftover Pizza - 1 million

Dinner - I need to go shopping - maybe grilled chicken salad.

Self Confidence: 6 (i'm mostly feeling indifferent today)

 

So, I think I'm going to run another 5K in April.  But, not specifically going to train for it.  Its going to be more for fun, and, I hope I set a new PR - which I think I will since I set a PR halfway through a 10K.  Plus its on a course I know very well, Tom Brown Park.  A friend of mine is a member of the Junior League of Tallahassee and they're hosting it.  Plus, as most races are, its for a good cause.

 

Beach season is coming upon us.  I really want to be in bikini shape ASAP.  I hope this new lifting program I'm trying will help with that.  That also means its time to start shopping for a new suit.  I hate bikini shopping, but, not for the reasons that most women hate it for.  For me, I enjoy getting to try on a bunch of different suits.  I pretty much know that 75% of them will look horrible on me, but, its fun to try them anyway, just for that 25% chance that one I think will look terrible, will look fantastic.  You never know.  Like with most clothes, they usually look terrible on the hanger, you really need to put them on to know whether or not you're going to like them.  What I hate is the fact that they cost so much friggin money.  And, then, even after you drop $80 on a suit, they fall apart or get sunbleached after a year.  I have yet to find a suit that holds up over the years.  I usually get 2 seasons out of a suit, which, in my opinion, is not long enough for less than a yard of $80 fabric.

 

Speaking of shopping, I also need new work clothes.  Luckily, my birthday is coming up.  Every year my mom always gets me some clothes, which is great.  But, my main problem lies in finding good quality work pants.  I have LLS - long-leg syndrome.  Now, many of you may not think this is a problem, and say "Man!  I wish I was tall and had long legs like yours!" No, really.  You don't.  Now, I LOVE being tall, in fact, I'm pretty much obsessed with it, and in fact, I'm not even that tall - only 5'7".  In fact, according to America's Next Top Model, 5'7" is short.  But, it is quite impossible to find pants to fit me.  You see, my inseam is longer than my 6'1" husband's inseam.  I need at least a 34" inseam.  And that's if I'm wearing flats.  If I want heels, I gotta bump that up to 36". 

 

Guess what.  Tallahassee shopping sucks.  Even places that carry "long" pants are a joke.  For instance, Express.  I love Express, but their "long" inseam is 33".  Yeah, not going to cut it - especially after they get washed once.  I'll look like Huckleberry Finn and people will start screaming "Where's the flood?!?"  Even stores that generally carry long sizes, such as Gap, Banana Republic, etc, rarely have them in our ant-sized stores.  Apparently there are no tall women in Tallahassee. 

 

Shop online you say?  Ok.  Good idea.  However, do you know what a pain it is to buy, and then return things from online if they don't fit?  A few years ago I went through approximately 6 pairs of Lucky jeans (and eventually returned them all), and several pairs of J.Crew pants.  You see, the length isn't the only problem.  How do I know what size I need if I can't try them on first?  Size charts are a joke.  Not to mention, those Lucky jeans cost me an extra $40 in "restocking fees" - never again will I shop with them online.  Even if I do find a pair that fit one year, styles inevitably vary from season to season. 

 

My coworker complains about having the "same, yet opposite" problem.  She requires 30" inseams.  I tell her to go to a tailor.  She says that it costs too much.  If only I had the luxury.

 

So, my game plan is - go to the stores we do have in Tally, and try on different styles of current styles.  Then, write down what style and size fit me.  Then, go online, and pray that they come in long and hope they still fit the same when I order them.  Wish me luck.

 

 

 

 

 

Starting Anew

Training for: Freedom Springs Triathlon

Cardio: 0 (yesterday I burned 762 calories during the race)
Weights: 0
(it's Sunday, and I just finished a race. I'm resting)

Food: Breakfast - Cheese Toast (370)
Lunch - TGI Friday's (too many I'm sure)
Dinner - I have no idea

Self Confidence: 8-9

So. I did it. I ran a 10K. Me...someone who used to always get out of running during cross-training for swimming. Someone who, just a few years ago could barely run for 10 minutes without stopping. And, I did it in under an hour. I finished with a time of 59:23. Don't believe me? See for yourself. I was bib number 418.

I passed the halfway point at 29:14. This is a personal best for a 5K time as well. I can officially cross off one of my goals for the new year.

I didn't get a chance to make my ideal playlist, which would include Beethoven's 9th 2nd movement as my last song so I could be extra pumped while crossing the finish line. That would have been so cool. Instead I was too lazy to time all this stuff out so I put my Aphrodite album on repeat for the whole hour, which seemed to do the trick. And, actually, it never had to repeat. I crossed before it finished.

Maybe one day I'll be as fast as my friend Katie. She finished in 47:47, and the last 5K she did was under 24 minutes. Really though, who am I kidding. I'll never be that fast. But you know what? I can take her in the water any day.

So the 10K is over, and is classified as a success. Time to move forward into the wonderful world of triathlon training. Which, I have no idea how to do. I can swim. I can bike. I just proved I can run. Now, can I do all three?

I found a recommended training plan/schedule. And, its pretty intense. I'll attempt to follow it. We'll see how it goes. I'm still waiting for the friggin pool at Myer's Park to open. They are now claiming April as the open date. We'll see. If I want to follow this 12 week schedule, then my start date would be on Easter.

In the mean time, I'm going to back off for a little while - in some sense anyway. I will still aim to hit the gym 5 days a week, but, I don't plan to run quite as much. My knees and hip need time to recover, so I'll be mixing up the cardio a little. Probably start biking to work again 2-3 times a week. Maybe do some mountain biking through Tom Brown as well.

Also going to mix up my weight lifting routine. I'm going to entertain myself with some circuit training. Specifically, one I found at bodybuilding.com. Oddly enough, its a pretty intesnse circuit - so, while I'll be backing off on cardio, I'll make up for that by doing circuits. Its a workout that some guy wrote for Jessica Simpson - hypothetically. Kind of funny, but, I actually liked what he had to say and am interested in trying it out.

Actually, I bet this workout will kick my butt, and, I bet after a day or two I quit following it. I have a hard time following things like these.....but, hopefully I can do it for ONE week? So, that is my goal this week. Follow this dude's faux celebrity workout. I'll let you know how it goes.

Who would have thought.

Training For: Springtime Tallahassee 10K

 

Cardio: Myer's Park Run (undecided on length) - 4 to 6 miles

Weights: 0

Total Calories:

 

Food:  Breakfast - Quaker Take Heart Blueberry Oatmeal - 160

          Lunch - Jimmy John's Beach Club (on whole grain bread, no mayo) - 610

          Dinner - Tuna and Soba Noodles - 240+100+sauce??

  Total Food: 1110 +sauce/seasonings

 

Self Confidence: 7

 

I'm getting nervous about running the 10K - mainly because, my hip is still sore from last Tuesday, and, I have to put more miles on my new shoes between now and Saturday.  But, I also don't want to run too much this week since I do have to run 6.2 miles this weekend.  But, I'm also excited at the same time. 

 

Never in my life have I considered myself a runner.  I am a water baby.  I'm pretty sure I was conceived by water.  We used to run as cross training for swimming, and, I used to put myself at the back of the line and walk at every opportunity.  I could barely run 10 minutes in HS.  I do remember my fastest mile time was a 7:46.  The only reason I finished so fast was because I just wanted it to be over with.  The track coach was my English teacher - she tried to recruit me.  I told her no way.  Plus, I didn't have time for track - swimming was a year round sport.  And, I wasn't going to give up any of my time for a sport that I loathed.

 

I could barely run a mile back then - and forget running 6.  When I graduated college I *attempted* to run - mainly because, I needed excercise, and running was free.  But, after a 15-20min run around the block (literally) I declared myself done.  I had no stamina.  I could swim for hours, but I could barely run for more than 15 minutes.  Put me back in the water please!

 

Biking was another thing.  I used to bike to class since I didn't have a car in college.  Not to mention, we also would bike as cross training for swimming in college.  We used to bike about 7.5 miles out to this little lake that a supporter of the team lived on - swim the length of the lake (about 1000 yards) then bike back.  My favorite workout ever.  I'll never forget the attempt to bike up Horsetooth my freshman year.  My friend Emily and I got about halfway up the first hill before deciding we could walk our bikes up the hill faster than we could ride them.  So, we got off and pushed.  Got to the top, and cruised down.  By far the best part. 

 

I also had a friend in college that liked to bike ride.  We would go ride for hours together out Overland Trail, over to Bellvue and Laporte.  Nice 2-3 hour rides.  Also, whenever I got pissed off at my roommate for something, I'd just take off and go ride my bike.  It was about as far as I could get away from her (since I didn't have a car).  She would of course be all mad when I got back saying that she "freaked out" cuz she didn't know where I was.  Which, was, pretty much the reason I would do it. 

 

Here I am today - about to run 6.2 miles, in a competition no less, for fun.  I must be on crack.  Not to mention, working my way towards the sprint triathlon in July.  Speaking of - I need to see if Myer's park pool is finally open.  They *supposedly* opened last week - but, this has yet to be confirmed.  I'll  check when I go for my run this afternoon.  Now, I'm wishing I packed my suit, cap, & goggles just in case.  A swim would be a perfect thing after a long run.

 

 

 

Change of Plans

Training for: Springtime Tallahassee 10K (yes, that's right, 10K)

 

Cardio: 0

Weights: ??

 

Food: Breakfast: Quaker Take Heart Blueberry Oatmeal - 160

         Lunch: South Beach Diet Turkey Bacon Wrap Kit - 240

         Snack: yogurt - 60; orange - 62

         Dinner:  Thinking Tacos.....not sure on cals

Total Food: 522 +tacos

 

Self Confidence:  8

 

So - as you can see from the top of my post, I've decided to man up and run the 10K next Saturday instead of the 5K.  I was hoping to improve my 5K time originally.  But, thousands of people run in the Springtime Race - meaning, its going to be similar to the Turkey Trot, where it took me *at least* a mile to get to the speed I wanted to cruise at.  This is because not everyone is courteous and places themselves in the correct area based on speed.  Several people with strollers, dogs, younger kids, you name it were close to the front of the crowd.  This requires other runners, who want to go fast, to dodge obstacles and hopefully not trip over leashes while passing around people.   So, I figure I'll do the 10K for fun, just to say I did it.  Plus, my friend Katie will be running - she's a super speedy 5K runner (did the last one in 23 minutes), but says she doesn't think she can run a full 10K without walking - but, I think she undersells herself when it comes to running - she's modest.  So, I'll run it with her and hopefully I can keep up!

 

Something else new - I got fitted for running shoes.  Formally, by a local running store.  I was pretty excited about this, as, I had never been told what the correct shoe I needed was by a professional before.  However, I'm having issues with these shoes.  I ran on them for the first time yesterday - only did 3.5 miles just to test them out.  They felt great for the first 20-25min or so.  But, then they started to feel like I was going to get a blister on the inside arch of my right foot.  No good.  Also, after I ran yesterday, my left hip started to kill me - right where my hip flexor is about.  It was pretty sore - sore to the point where if I rolled weird in the middle of the night it would hurt.  Its hurting as I sit here and type this. 

 

After work today I plan to go and return the shoes.  I'm almost hoping a different employee is there - mostly to get a second opinion.  My initial thought is that they are at least a half size too big.  My heels slip - and I couldn't get them tied tight enough to prevent it.  Not to mention, if its a shoe that fits properly, I shouldn't get blisters.  So, we'll see. 

 

Another thing I'm going to do (hopefully today) is start seeing a chiropractor again.  I really like my Tallahassee Chiro.  He's fantastic, and, very preventative-minded and extremely health conscious.  I originally went last year for a TMJ episode I had (my jaw went crooked - not fun).  But, since my insurance sucked, I couldn't really afford to keep going on a regular basis. But, I have different insurance now, so its more affordable for me to keep up with it - so I'm going to call to make an appointment to become re-established.

All Women are Neurotic: This is my story (Final Chapter)

Training for: Springtime Tallahassee 5K; Freedom Hills Sprint Triathlon

 

Cardio:

Weights:

Calories Burned: 

 

Food: Breakfast - Quaker Weight Control Banana Bread Oatmeal - 160

         Lunch - Chicken Salad Sandwich (with Craisins!) - 338

         Snack - yogurt - 60; snack bar - 100

         Dinner - ??  Maybe leftover lasagna?

Total Food: 658+dinner

 

Self-Confidence: 9

 

Ok - so, you've made it through the boring stuff, none of which actually told you what makes me crazy.  But, the background is important, it will help you understand "why" I'm crazy. 

 

So, in summary - here are 6 things that I obsess about when it comes to nutrition, fitness, diet, and weight loss:

 

1.  I weigh myself daily.  Twice, daily.  I weigh myself in the mornings, naked, after I emptied my bladder - I do this on purpose because I KNOW that this will be the lightest I will be all day.  Then, after I work out, I weigh myself again.  This is to determine whether or not I made progress during the day.  I figure, if I'm within 1/2lb of what I was that morning, I'm doing good.

 

2.  I get really irritated when people plan fun stuff during my "workout time" - this includes after work happy hours.  In CO - my neurotic coworkers would always schedule our happy hours around our workouts.  We didn't meet up until 7pm.  This was perfect, and a mutual agreement.  However, I don't have many fitness freak friends down here (if any) so most of the time, I blow off my workout for a few cocktails and just deal with being pissed at myself later.  One of the many reasons why I haven't maintained my "Pre-Florida Weight."

 

3.  I'll be honest.  It annoys me to see overweight or obese people eating fast food or any other unhealthy food.  I scream inside "DON'T THEY KNOW THAT THEY'RE KILLING THEMSELVES?"  The even more ironic thing is, I don't normally see that unless I'm in a fast food restaurant myself.  Hello, hypocrite??  And, I actually HATE when I have to eat fast food.  Even though, I relish every second of it.  Thus is the dichotomy of Jessica.

 

4.  Even if I do reach a goal - I feel like I am still the same, and thus am compelled take the goal just one-step further.   For instance, when my goal was (and currently is again) to be 135lbs - and I reach, 135lbs (or 136), I look at myself and say, "Well, it says that's what I am, but, I think maybe I should shoot for 125lbs.  Might help my mid-section a little more."  Or, if I want to be a size 6, and I reach a size 6, I say "Why stop now, I'm going to shoot for a size 4."  I think this is the perfectionist coming out in me - I'm never really 100% happy with where I am, and always think I should do just a little more.  I would probably do this until I withered away into nothingness - if my body would let me.  I'm pretty sure I max out at 136/size 6.  

 

5.  I said I went off BC because it was healthier for my system.  Secretly, I am ecstatic because I really really really hope that being off hormones will allow pounds to melt off of me like how cheese slips off overly cheesy pizza.  Sure, not getting migraines, and having regular cycles will be great.  But, really, getting rid of the extra weight its forced me to have would be worth the trouble.  Realistically, I doubt I will see any change.  But, I can still hope!!

 

6.  I am a secret binge eater.  My worst time to binge is in between getting home from the gym and dinner.  I usually get a whole 2 hours to myself, and I almost always come home from the gym ravishing.  And, no one but the cats are there to witness my weakness.  Some days I'm good and limit myself to a slice or two of Steve's lunchmeat.  Other days, I devour boxes of cheese nips and thin mints.  I often exclude these from my daily calorie totals to make myself feel better. 

 

 

I'm going to guess, that there are probably more if I dig around my brain long enough - but I think this sums everything up for now.  The moral of this story is, its ok to be crazy and neurotic (you're not the only one) - just do so in moderation, and accept the fact that you are indeed, crazy and neurotic.

 

 

 

All Women are Neurotic: This is my story (Part 3)

Training for: Springtime Tallahassee 5K; Freedom Hills Sprint Triathlon

 

Cardio: 2 mile walk during breaks (166)

Weights: Upper Body (chest, back, shoulders, bi's, tri's)

Calories Burned: 166+weights

 

Food: Breakfast - Quaker Weight Control Banana Bread Oatmeal - 160

         Lunch - Chicken Salad Sandwich (with Craisins!) - 338

         Snack - yogurt - 60; snack bar - 100

         Dinner - Maybe lasagna (we ended up not having guests over so we grilled up brats and potatoes instead yesterday)

Total Food: 658+dinner

 

Self-Confidence: 6ish (I felt good until I spilled coffee down the front of my shirt and pants)

 

As I mentioned yesterday, Dawnetta & Amber directly influenced my overall health and fitness obsessiveness.  Therefore, I blame them for all my current neuroses.  Just kidding.

 

Dawentta started not too long after I did.  She was blonde, skinny, big boobed and beautiful.  I got to know her, and we started hanging out.  I quickly found out she was an amazing person, had amazing (and attractive, both physically and personality wise) friends.  She was my Lisa Kress of my young adult life.  Except, this time I got to be her friend vs. the nerdy girl in the corner she didn't care about.  I was honored. 

 

I learned a lot from Dawnetta, mostly about having confidence in myself and how not to be afraid to ask for what you want.  Especially when it came to work.  But, I also knew she had a personal trainer and took care of herself.  At the time, she had a roommate that was pretty obsessive about what he ate and what vitamins/supplements he took.  I learned a lot about nutrition from her through her roommate. 

 

As for Amber, she introduced me to the Body for Life program.  She completed a 12 week challenge.  I have started many, but, never fully completed one.  I always end up getting bored and switching stuff around (I have an attention span of a 6 year old when it comes to the gym).  However, one thing I did learn from her was how to make fitness a priority.  This was something she did well.  She had determination and she had a goal.  Something I never really had.  I just knew I was supposed to go, and was supposed to look a certain way based on what I saw around me.

 

I too, was jealous of Amber.  Jealous of the fact that she did more than I did exercise wise, and worked out longer/burned more calories than I did.  Maybe jealousy isn't the correct term.  I admired her.  And, I wished I had the motivation she had to put forth the effort she did.

 

I remember our company entered a competition where we measured the number of steps we took with pedometers and such.  She of course "out-stepped" us all!  She began riding her bike to work also, which, only raised her daily total steps.  Something I could not do because I lived too far, and I didn't even own a bike.  Unknowingly, she pushed me to do more, but it seemed no matter what I did - she always beat me out.  And good for her!

 

While in most situations, I would get frustrated to the point where I would resent her, this did not happen.  Amber is too awesome of a person to resent no matter how great she is.  What I liked best about her was that I could identify with her.  She is not overweight, and (to my knowledge) never was.  Neither was I at this point in my life.  Yet, we both seemed to want more from ourselves.  And, not just so we could be "hot" (though, that is a great side effect), but, more for our own personal peace of mind.  This is something we shared, and, not sure if she ever knew that - but, she does now (if you read this, Amber).

 

Working with these ladies only made things more interesting.  Because, guess what daily topic of conversations would bring?

 

Scenario 1:

 

Me: So, what are some good healthy snacks that I can bring to work.  I'm bored of yogurt and popcorn?

 

Dawnetta: I like soy nuts - the lightly salted kind.

Amber: The EAS snack bars are the best I've ever tasted - as far as nutritional snack bars go.  Anything with protein will be good for you.

 

Scenario 2:

 

Dawnetta: I've been adding flaxseed to my salads and oatmeal

 

Me: What is flaxseed? 

 

Dawnetta: Its a healthy source of omega-3's.  My roommate buys it then grinds it up in his coffee grinder and sprinkles it on things.   But, it goes bad fast, so, you have to use it up quickly.  I've also been looking into taking Spirulina.  Its a type of algae that is supposed to have antioxidant properties.

 

Me: You're eating algae now?

 

Dawnetta: Oh,  I also just switched from Soy Milk to Rice Milk.......I'll have to tell you about it later.

 

Scenario 3:

 

Amber:  So I finished my 12-week Body for Life Challenge, and, am now signing up for another one. 

 

Me: You can do more than one?

 

Amber:  Oh yes, you can do as many as you want.  I'm also going to start riding my bike to work, but still walk on my breaks too.  Just to stay healthy, you know?

 

Me: Wow.  You sure are motivated!  Maybe I should spend an extra hour at the gym today....

 

Amber:  Just do whatever makes you feel healthy.  Any exercise is better than no exercise.

 

 

So because of these two wonderful ladies, I now constantly Google "nutrition," "exercise," and "fitness" on an hourly basis.  They were genuinely interested in being healthy vs. being thin.  They were also genuinely interested in passing their knowledge onto their friends so their friends could be healthy also.  They jumpstarted my current health-conscious lifestyle.  And by no means is this a bad thing, because, during my years at NCS and working with them, I hit my lowest weight ever.  136lbs.  This, my friends, is my "Pre-Florida Weight."

 

Part 4 will continue tomorrow - where I will FINALLY sum up my nueroses for you!

 

 

 

 

All Women are Neurotic: This is my story (Part 2)

Training for: Springtime Tallahassee 5K; Freedom Hills Sprint Triathlon

 

Cardio: 30min biking - 233, 30min running - 334

Weights: 0

Calories Burned: 567 (this was taken from an online calorie calculator - I'll update my real calories from my HR monitor tomorrow)

 

Food: Breakfast - Quaker Weight Control Banana Bread Oatmeal - 160

         Lunch - South Beach Diet wrap kit - 240

         Snack - yogurt - 60; snack bar - 100

         Dinner - Lasagna (made with italian sausage and whole wheat lasagna noodles) and whole wheat garlic bread. - I wouldn't be surprised if this is closer to 700-800s

Total Food: 560 +dinner = somewhere between 1260-1360 (too lazy to do exact calculations)

 

Self-Confidence:  8

 

Before we get on with the story, I have a confession:

Last night, after I got home from the gym, I'm starving as usual.  I pretty much devoured a box of cheese-nips and ate some pepperoni that was sitting in the fridge (there wasn't enough to make a pizza anyway).  So, I'm going to say we'll have to add on approximately 400 calories to my daily total - which - I calculated and my dinner was only around 550 cals.  So, my total for yesterday was 550+550+400 = 1500.  Still not too bad.  Oh yeah, I forgot, I ate 2 thin mints also.  Add another 80 - 1580.  Now I'm pushing it....

 

So, here I am.  Finally seeing results.  Well, my job at Group Publishing was a temporary position.  It ended in June 2002.  I couldn't find another job.  I had a degree in Business-CIS, and I happened to graduate right after the 9-11 tragedy, which spurred the downfall of the Internet and IT industry.  It really sucked.  All my professors had ingrained into my head that I was worth $45K  a year right out of school.  So, you can only imagine my disappointment, and frustration, when I couldn't find a job. 

 

I actually don't even remember what I did between July 2002 and March 2003, when I was re-hired for more seasonal work at Group Publishing. 

 

Oh wait.  Yes, I do.  I pretended I wanted to be a teacher, and enrolled in a Master's Program at CSU for Teaching.  That lasted an entire semester.  I did however, have student loans I could live off (and now, unfortunetly have to pay back).

 

After that fiasco failed, I went back to Group.  After Group, I tempted for Larimer County doing more data entry BS.  It did however, pay a little better.  $10/hr.

 

During this whole job transition between Group/School/Temping I ballooned up again.  I hit 167.  The main reason for this was that I couldn't afford to eat well, and I couldn't afford to workout.  This recession proves it - unhealthy food is cheap.  During this time, though, it was generally Steve that paid for the groceries.  This also put a strain on our relationship.  Me being unemployed was not healthy for us.   He too, ballooned up.  He hit 198lbs.  At the time, he worked in Longmont and commuted from Fort Collins to Longmont.  Then, his company moved to Denver, by DIA.  He had a 70-mile one way commute.  Obviously leaving no time or energy for a workout.

 

Another family reunion rolled around.  This time, Steve came with.  Jackson Hole, WY.  And, leave it to your family to be brutally honest.  My grandmother flat out told me I needed to lose weight.  And she was right.  Again, pictures surfaced.  What was I thinking even wearing a two piece??!!  I looked pregnant! 

 

Thankfully, not long after I landed a job at New Century Software, Inc.  More data entry.  But, better pay, $12/hr, and room for growth.  This is how I fell into the GIS industry.  I did great work here, and was continually given more responsibility.  I was happy that I finally worked somewhere where people recognized I had a brain, and trusted me with more advanced tasks.  I even received a raise during my two years there, which, I've never worked anywhere long enough to even be considered for a raise (except Cracker Barrel, which, doesn't count). 

 

The best thing, there was a gym across the street from my work.  And, I could actually afford to be a member.  So, I joined.  Got myself down to the 140s.  Steve and I moved in together.

 

One of the best things about NCS was the people.  I made several friends there, some of whom I still keep in contact with.  The best thing about these friends were, they were all similar in age, in similar life stages (mid-20s, still building their careers), and had similar interests.  One interest that many of us shared was being healthy and losing weight.  There are two people in particular at NCS that directly motivated me and fed my fitness neurosis:  Dawnetta and Amber.

 

This saga will continue with Part 3, tomorrow!

All Women are Neurotic: This is my story (Part 1)

Training for: Springtime Tallahassee 5K; Freedom Hills Sprint Triathlon

 

Cardio: 2 miles walking (breaks) - 166

Maybe 20min on the bike at the gym after lifting

Weights: Legs & Abs

Calories Burned: 166+biking

 

Food: Breakfast - Quaker Weight Control Banana Bread Oatmeal - 160

         Lunch - South Beach Diet wrap kit - 230

         Snack - yogurt - 60; snack bar - 100

         Dinner - Falafel tonight for sure - last night we did frozen pizza (too lazy to cook)

Total Food: 550 +dinner

 

Self-Confidence: 9

 

 

Confession:  I had this post 95% completed.  Then, realized I hated the topic, scrapped it, and am now starting over. 

 

Have I mentioned I'm a perfectionist? 

 

This applies to all aspects in life - including my health & fitness.

 

I am not sure if my neurosis started the day I stepped on the scale and discovered I weighed 170lbs, or, if it occured subconsciously back in elementary school where I was called "High-Pants" because I (supposedly) wore my pants really high. 

 

I have a short waist, and long legs.  I have learned to deal with this, and attempt to find clothes that fit, yet mask this condition of mine.  This means shopping online for pants (most stores in Tallahassee do not carry 'long' length pants, and, the ones that do aren't long enough.  I need a 34-36" inseam.  If I want to wear heels, I usually need to go 36").

 

I am only 5'7".  I say only, because, I am also obsessed with my height.  I realize I am an above average height for women, but, I also feel sad and insignificant when I meet or see someone taller than me.  Then, I miss elementary school - where, I was the girl that got to be at the front of the line because I was tall.  Only one other girl I remember was taller than me.  Jennifer Dietrich.  She only had me by an inch at the most.

 

Therefore, I almost always wear heels when I go out, needing my 36" inseam pants.  This, paired with long tops so that they go down past my hips, thus masking my short waist.

 

Perhaps this all started in elementary school afterall, where, I once remember we did an exercise where we had to write down what meant the most to us in the whole world.  Then, we drew out random cards with everyone's info on them, and had to guess who we thought wrote them.  I wrote down "Fitting in."

 

Lisa Kress drew my card.  She was the epitomy of cool in my book.  So much so, I wanted to be her.  I tried to get my hair cut like hers once, and it ended up a disaster.  She had a bob, with long layers.  I went in asking for a layered cut, chin length, and, ended up with short short hair, short layers, and nothing bob-like whatsoever. 

 

Lisa Kress correctly guessed that I had written this.  Then it was my turn to draw a card.  The card I read said "My family" - as did, 90% of the entire class's cards.  What an idiot I was.  I should have known, that, my family would be the most important.  I had failed at fitting in, which, was the most important thing to me.

 

Or, maybe it really did start when I stepped on the scale and it read 170lbs.  Good God!  What had happened.  I never paid much attention to my weight until after college.  I was a swimmer afterall.  I needed to eat more than the average person.  My freshman year I lost weight instead of gaining the typical Freshman 15.  I also had practice 20 hours a week.  And believe me, they did not let you dilly dally.  Especially in the weight room.

 

I didn't swim for CSU after my freshman year, but, I did however, continue to swim and workout.   I even took swimming as a class for credit (kind of a cop out on my part, but, hey, it was easy).  I also took aerobics.  I was being graded on showing up and working out.  But after college, this consistency didn't really exist. 

 

Now I had to pay if I wanted to workout.  Fat chance coming from someone that made $8/hour doing data entry.  I didn't even own a car until I was 23.  How would I even get to the gym?

 

I didn't really start taking exercise seriously until I met Steve.  I was working down in Loveland at Group Publishing.  Steve and company hung out with a lot of (what I considered) really attractive women.  Many of them were also younger than me, so, that already put me at a disadvantage.  The majority of them were also skinnier than me.   Not to mention, around the time I started dating Steve, I went to a family reunion out in South Dakota.  I saw pictures of myself from this event and was completely astonished at how gigantic I looked.  I decided something had to be done.

 

Luckily for me, Group Publishing was located in an area condusive to walking.  There was this great neighborhood, Namaqua Hills, right behind the building that many people walked during their lunch breaks.  So, I started doing 30min walks on a daily basis on my lunch breaks.  At times, I would even incorporate squats and lunges into my walking routine.

I also became completely obsessive about what I ate.  It was the first time I EVER paid attention to how many calories I was consuming.  Let me tell you.  It sucked.  I hated restricting my food.  But, I was determined.  My BFF and I would email each other our daily caloric intake and give each other advice.  I managed to get down to the 150s.  She too, was working hard to lose weight.  Granted we had different goals, but, at the time, I think we were both seeing success. 

 

Please come back tomorrow for part 2.