All Women are Neurotic: This is my story (Part 3)

Training for: Springtime Tallahassee 5K; Freedom Hills Sprint Triathlon

 

Cardio: 2 mile walk during breaks (166)

Weights: Upper Body (chest, back, shoulders, bi's, tri's)

Calories Burned: 166+weights

 

Food: Breakfast - Quaker Weight Control Banana Bread Oatmeal - 160

         Lunch - Chicken Salad Sandwich (with Craisins!) - 338

         Snack - yogurt - 60; snack bar - 100

         Dinner - Maybe lasagna (we ended up not having guests over so we grilled up brats and potatoes instead yesterday)

Total Food: 658+dinner

 

Self-Confidence: 6ish (I felt good until I spilled coffee down the front of my shirt and pants)

 

As I mentioned yesterday, Dawnetta & Amber directly influenced my overall health and fitness obsessiveness.  Therefore, I blame them for all my current neuroses.  Just kidding.

 

Dawentta started not too long after I did.  She was blonde, skinny, big boobed and beautiful.  I got to know her, and we started hanging out.  I quickly found out she was an amazing person, had amazing (and attractive, both physically and personality wise) friends.  She was my Lisa Kress of my young adult life.  Except, this time I got to be her friend vs. the nerdy girl in the corner she didn't care about.  I was honored. 

 

I learned a lot from Dawnetta, mostly about having confidence in myself and how not to be afraid to ask for what you want.  Especially when it came to work.  But, I also knew she had a personal trainer and took care of herself.  At the time, she had a roommate that was pretty obsessive about what he ate and what vitamins/supplements he took.  I learned a lot about nutrition from her through her roommate. 

 

As for Amber, she introduced me to the Body for Life program.  She completed a 12 week challenge.  I have started many, but, never fully completed one.  I always end up getting bored and switching stuff around (I have an attention span of a 6 year old when it comes to the gym).  However, one thing I did learn from her was how to make fitness a priority.  This was something she did well.  She had determination and she had a goal.  Something I never really had.  I just knew I was supposed to go, and was supposed to look a certain way based on what I saw around me.

 

I too, was jealous of Amber.  Jealous of the fact that she did more than I did exercise wise, and worked out longer/burned more calories than I did.  Maybe jealousy isn't the correct term.  I admired her.  And, I wished I had the motivation she had to put forth the effort she did.

 

I remember our company entered a competition where we measured the number of steps we took with pedometers and such.  She of course "out-stepped" us all!  She began riding her bike to work also, which, only raised her daily total steps.  Something I could not do because I lived too far, and I didn't even own a bike.  Unknowingly, she pushed me to do more, but it seemed no matter what I did - she always beat me out.  And good for her!

 

While in most situations, I would get frustrated to the point where I would resent her, this did not happen.  Amber is too awesome of a person to resent no matter how great she is.  What I liked best about her was that I could identify with her.  She is not overweight, and (to my knowledge) never was.  Neither was I at this point in my life.  Yet, we both seemed to want more from ourselves.  And, not just so we could be "hot" (though, that is a great side effect), but, more for our own personal peace of mind.  This is something we shared, and, not sure if she ever knew that - but, she does now (if you read this, Amber).

 

Working with these ladies only made things more interesting.  Because, guess what daily topic of conversations would bring?

 

Scenario 1:

 

Me: So, what are some good healthy snacks that I can bring to work.  I'm bored of yogurt and popcorn?

 

Dawnetta: I like soy nuts - the lightly salted kind.

Amber: The EAS snack bars are the best I've ever tasted - as far as nutritional snack bars go.  Anything with protein will be good for you.

 

Scenario 2:

 

Dawnetta: I've been adding flaxseed to my salads and oatmeal

 

Me: What is flaxseed? 

 

Dawnetta: Its a healthy source of omega-3's.  My roommate buys it then grinds it up in his coffee grinder and sprinkles it on things.   But, it goes bad fast, so, you have to use it up quickly.  I've also been looking into taking Spirulina.  Its a type of algae that is supposed to have antioxidant properties.

 

Me: You're eating algae now?

 

Dawnetta: Oh,  I also just switched from Soy Milk to Rice Milk.......I'll have to tell you about it later.

 

Scenario 3:

 

Amber:  So I finished my 12-week Body for Life Challenge, and, am now signing up for another one. 

 

Me: You can do more than one?

 

Amber:  Oh yes, you can do as many as you want.  I'm also going to start riding my bike to work, but still walk on my breaks too.  Just to stay healthy, you know?

 

Me: Wow.  You sure are motivated!  Maybe I should spend an extra hour at the gym today....

 

Amber:  Just do whatever makes you feel healthy.  Any exercise is better than no exercise.

 

 

So because of these two wonderful ladies, I now constantly Google "nutrition," "exercise," and "fitness" on an hourly basis.  They were genuinely interested in being healthy vs. being thin.  They were also genuinely interested in passing their knowledge onto their friends so their friends could be healthy also.  They jumpstarted my current health-conscious lifestyle.  And by no means is this a bad thing, because, during my years at NCS and working with them, I hit my lowest weight ever.  136lbs.  This, my friends, is my "Pre-Florida Weight."

 

Part 4 will continue tomorrow - where I will FINALLY sum up my nueroses for you!

 

 

 

 

All Women are Neurotic: This is my story (Part 2)

Training for: Springtime Tallahassee 5K; Freedom Hills Sprint Triathlon

 

Cardio: 30min biking - 233, 30min running - 334

Weights: 0

Calories Burned: 567 (this was taken from an online calorie calculator - I'll update my real calories from my HR monitor tomorrow)

 

Food: Breakfast - Quaker Weight Control Banana Bread Oatmeal - 160

         Lunch - South Beach Diet wrap kit - 240

         Snack - yogurt - 60; snack bar - 100

         Dinner - Lasagna (made with italian sausage and whole wheat lasagna noodles) and whole wheat garlic bread. - I wouldn't be surprised if this is closer to 700-800s

Total Food: 560 +dinner = somewhere between 1260-1360 (too lazy to do exact calculations)

 

Self-Confidence:  8

 

Before we get on with the story, I have a confession:

Last night, after I got home from the gym, I'm starving as usual.  I pretty much devoured a box of cheese-nips and ate some pepperoni that was sitting in the fridge (there wasn't enough to make a pizza anyway).  So, I'm going to say we'll have to add on approximately 400 calories to my daily total - which - I calculated and my dinner was only around 550 cals.  So, my total for yesterday was 550+550+400 = 1500.  Still not too bad.  Oh yeah, I forgot, I ate 2 thin mints also.  Add another 80 - 1580.  Now I'm pushing it....

 

So, here I am.  Finally seeing results.  Well, my job at Group Publishing was a temporary position.  It ended in June 2002.  I couldn't find another job.  I had a degree in Business-CIS, and I happened to graduate right after the 9-11 tragedy, which spurred the downfall of the Internet and IT industry.  It really sucked.  All my professors had ingrained into my head that I was worth $45K  a year right out of school.  So, you can only imagine my disappointment, and frustration, when I couldn't find a job. 

 

I actually don't even remember what I did between July 2002 and March 2003, when I was re-hired for more seasonal work at Group Publishing. 

 

Oh wait.  Yes, I do.  I pretended I wanted to be a teacher, and enrolled in a Master's Program at CSU for Teaching.  That lasted an entire semester.  I did however, have student loans I could live off (and now, unfortunetly have to pay back).

 

After that fiasco failed, I went back to Group.  After Group, I tempted for Larimer County doing more data entry BS.  It did however, pay a little better.  $10/hr.

 

During this whole job transition between Group/School/Temping I ballooned up again.  I hit 167.  The main reason for this was that I couldn't afford to eat well, and I couldn't afford to workout.  This recession proves it - unhealthy food is cheap.  During this time, though, it was generally Steve that paid for the groceries.  This also put a strain on our relationship.  Me being unemployed was not healthy for us.   He too, ballooned up.  He hit 198lbs.  At the time, he worked in Longmont and commuted from Fort Collins to Longmont.  Then, his company moved to Denver, by DIA.  He had a 70-mile one way commute.  Obviously leaving no time or energy for a workout.

 

Another family reunion rolled around.  This time, Steve came with.  Jackson Hole, WY.  And, leave it to your family to be brutally honest.  My grandmother flat out told me I needed to lose weight.  And she was right.  Again, pictures surfaced.  What was I thinking even wearing a two piece??!!  I looked pregnant! 

 

Thankfully, not long after I landed a job at New Century Software, Inc.  More data entry.  But, better pay, $12/hr, and room for growth.  This is how I fell into the GIS industry.  I did great work here, and was continually given more responsibility.  I was happy that I finally worked somewhere where people recognized I had a brain, and trusted me with more advanced tasks.  I even received a raise during my two years there, which, I've never worked anywhere long enough to even be considered for a raise (except Cracker Barrel, which, doesn't count). 

 

The best thing, there was a gym across the street from my work.  And, I could actually afford to be a member.  So, I joined.  Got myself down to the 140s.  Steve and I moved in together.

 

One of the best things about NCS was the people.  I made several friends there, some of whom I still keep in contact with.  The best thing about these friends were, they were all similar in age, in similar life stages (mid-20s, still building their careers), and had similar interests.  One interest that many of us shared was being healthy and losing weight.  There are two people in particular at NCS that directly motivated me and fed my fitness neurosis:  Dawnetta and Amber.

 

This saga will continue with Part 3, tomorrow!

All Women are Neurotic: This is my story (Part 1)

Training for: Springtime Tallahassee 5K; Freedom Hills Sprint Triathlon

 

Cardio: 2 miles walking (breaks) - 166

Maybe 20min on the bike at the gym after lifting

Weights: Legs & Abs

Calories Burned: 166+biking

 

Food: Breakfast - Quaker Weight Control Banana Bread Oatmeal - 160

         Lunch - South Beach Diet wrap kit - 230

         Snack - yogurt - 60; snack bar - 100

         Dinner - Falafel tonight for sure - last night we did frozen pizza (too lazy to cook)

Total Food: 550 +dinner

 

Self-Confidence: 9

 

 

Confession:  I had this post 95% completed.  Then, realized I hated the topic, scrapped it, and am now starting over. 

 

Have I mentioned I'm a perfectionist? 

 

This applies to all aspects in life - including my health & fitness.

 

I am not sure if my neurosis started the day I stepped on the scale and discovered I weighed 170lbs, or, if it occured subconsciously back in elementary school where I was called "High-Pants" because I (supposedly) wore my pants really high. 

 

I have a short waist, and long legs.  I have learned to deal with this, and attempt to find clothes that fit, yet mask this condition of mine.  This means shopping online for pants (most stores in Tallahassee do not carry 'long' length pants, and, the ones that do aren't long enough.  I need a 34-36" inseam.  If I want to wear heels, I usually need to go 36").

 

I am only 5'7".  I say only, because, I am also obsessed with my height.  I realize I am an above average height for women, but, I also feel sad and insignificant when I meet or see someone taller than me.  Then, I miss elementary school - where, I was the girl that got to be at the front of the line because I was tall.  Only one other girl I remember was taller than me.  Jennifer Dietrich.  She only had me by an inch at the most.

 

Therefore, I almost always wear heels when I go out, needing my 36" inseam pants.  This, paired with long tops so that they go down past my hips, thus masking my short waist.

 

Perhaps this all started in elementary school afterall, where, I once remember we did an exercise where we had to write down what meant the most to us in the whole world.  Then, we drew out random cards with everyone's info on them, and had to guess who we thought wrote them.  I wrote down "Fitting in."

 

Lisa Kress drew my card.  She was the epitomy of cool in my book.  So much so, I wanted to be her.  I tried to get my hair cut like hers once, and it ended up a disaster.  She had a bob, with long layers.  I went in asking for a layered cut, chin length, and, ended up with short short hair, short layers, and nothing bob-like whatsoever. 

 

Lisa Kress correctly guessed that I had written this.  Then it was my turn to draw a card.  The card I read said "My family" - as did, 90% of the entire class's cards.  What an idiot I was.  I should have known, that, my family would be the most important.  I had failed at fitting in, which, was the most important thing to me.

 

Or, maybe it really did start when I stepped on the scale and it read 170lbs.  Good God!  What had happened.  I never paid much attention to my weight until after college.  I was a swimmer afterall.  I needed to eat more than the average person.  My freshman year I lost weight instead of gaining the typical Freshman 15.  I also had practice 20 hours a week.  And believe me, they did not let you dilly dally.  Especially in the weight room.

 

I didn't swim for CSU after my freshman year, but, I did however, continue to swim and workout.   I even took swimming as a class for credit (kind of a cop out on my part, but, hey, it was easy).  I also took aerobics.  I was being graded on showing up and working out.  But after college, this consistency didn't really exist. 

 

Now I had to pay if I wanted to workout.  Fat chance coming from someone that made $8/hour doing data entry.  I didn't even own a car until I was 23.  How would I even get to the gym?

 

I didn't really start taking exercise seriously until I met Steve.  I was working down in Loveland at Group Publishing.  Steve and company hung out with a lot of (what I considered) really attractive women.  Many of them were also younger than me, so, that already put me at a disadvantage.  The majority of them were also skinnier than me.   Not to mention, around the time I started dating Steve, I went to a family reunion out in South Dakota.  I saw pictures of myself from this event and was completely astonished at how gigantic I looked.  I decided something had to be done.

 

Luckily for me, Group Publishing was located in an area condusive to walking.  There was this great neighborhood, Namaqua Hills, right behind the building that many people walked during their lunch breaks.  So, I started doing 30min walks on a daily basis on my lunch breaks.  At times, I would even incorporate squats and lunges into my walking routine.

I also became completely obsessive about what I ate.  It was the first time I EVER paid attention to how many calories I was consuming.  Let me tell you.  It sucked.  I hated restricting my food.  But, I was determined.  My BFF and I would email each other our daily caloric intake and give each other advice.  I managed to get down to the 150s.  She too, was working hard to lose weight.  Granted we had different goals, but, at the time, I think we were both seeing success. 

 

Please come back tomorrow for part 2.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Green Thumb or Brown Thumb?

Food: Breakfast - Quaker Weight Control Cinnamon Oatmeal - 160

         Lunch - South Beach Diet wrap kit - 240

         Snack - yogurt - 60; snack bar - 100

         Dinner - not sure yet, maybe falafel.

Total Food: 560 +dinner

 

Self-Confidence: 8

 

3 full weeks till the 5K.  I need to buckle down on this training.  I did some speed drills last week that went nicely.  Today, I'm going to run the 4-mile path set up by the Gulf Winds Track Club.  As I've mentioned, this course is pretty hilly, and there is one killer hill right in the middle.  I'm hoping if I run the longer courses, then when it comes time to do the 5K, it should be a piece of cake. 

 

Tomorrow I'll do some legs & abs hopefully.  Maybe do a quick 20min on the stationary bike at the gym - heck, maybe I'll get really crazy and bike to work.  Its spring break, so I don't need to go to campus during the week, thank God!

 

I ended up not getting in any training this weekend, even though I was thinking about going for a swim.  Instead, I planted seeds to start a vegetable garden and went tooling around on our motorcycle with Steve.  All in all it was a good weekend, just needed one more day off, as usual.

 

I'm compling a grocery list right now.  Since its going to be nice the majority of this week, I have several meals I plan to grill.  This week, I'll be doing the typical brats/dogs w/ onions & peppers and grilled potato slices.  I'll also be making some grilled Moroccan Chicken.  I haven't tried this recipe, but it sounds good.  I'll probably pair it with a quinoa risotto that I like to make.  Next week maybe I'll grill up some flank steak for fajitas or some tuna skewers.  I'm craving cliantro & lime for some reason. 

 

I'm hoping to start a small vegetable garden.  I started 6 seedlings each of tomatoes, green peppers (hopefully I can get some red peppers out of it too), cucumbers, and jalapenos.  The herbs I did 4 seedlings each of cliantro, rosemary, and oregano.  If all goes well, I'll start working on fall/winter veggies.  Onions in particular, maybe some regular and sweet potatoes.  I also planted some flowers to attract bees (hopefully they grow, started from seeds).  I'm pretty sure I need bees to pollenate my cucumbers.  If they don't flower in time, then I might plant some  Confetti Lantana (which, I might do anyway because I like them).  I'm actually hoping we take a trip to the nursery next weekend.  I'm pretty excited about it.  I just hope my hydrangeas survived over the fall/winter. 

 

"June 9th...I can feel it in my bones"

Training for: Springtime Tallahassee 5K

Cardio: Not sure - I might try to get a swim in at Trousdale since its going to be 80 degrees today.

Weights: 0

Calories Burned: Not sure (might update this later)

Food: Breakfast - ??

Lunch - ??

Snack - ??

Dinner - ??

Total Food: ??

Self-Confidence: 9

This entire weekend I've had an excess of energy. I have the urge to do about 10 million things at once, and wish I had super speed. It would seem kind of random, minus the fact that I've been tracking parts of my health a little more closely than I normally do. If I go into too many details - this post will turn totally TMI - so I'll try to keep it more on the general side.

Long story short:
I'm off birth control pills - no, we're NOT trying for babies (yet).

More details:
BC wreaked havoc on my system - as they do many women I suppose. I don't really know any female that "enjoys" taking a pill daily or changing a ring/patch weekley. My male coworker once said that if they made a pill for men, he would totally take it. And, while IUD's do sound appealing, I was informed by my doc, that, they're not really a good choice for me.

My options were already VERY limited due to my history of migraine w/ aura (aka - raging headaches with what seem to be sunspots that occur before the onset of pain. Good warning sign that one is coming, but, also a let down cuz I have to deal with the migraine). Therefore, I can't be on any form of BC that contains estrogen. Well, that knocks about 75832957 choices down to 3. Yeah, 3. I mentioned previously, that one, was already not an option (IUD), so, now we're down to 2. Of those two....one is made for teeny boppers, because they're low responsibility (a shot every 3 months), and short-term (depo can cause bone density loss...not good for someone pushing 30yrs). Therefore, I'm down to one whole option. The mini-pill.

The mini-pill has been the bane of my existance ever since I went on it 10 months ago. I was hoping, that since it was pretty much the same cocktail you get w/ depo, that I would have the same side affects (i.e. no visits from my Aunt). Yeah, totally not the case. In fact, I experienced pretty much the opposite. Let's just say I put on 10lbs in 6 weeks (mind you, this was *right* after we bought our mountain bikes, so, I had been doing 2 hour mountain bike rides at least once a week, and had been biking to and from work 2-3 times a week). I even counted once, that I worked out 17 out of the last 20 days, and, no change in the scale. That, while devastating to some (more of an irritant to me), was really the least of my worries. The single most annoying part of the mini-pill was having bi-weekley visits from a long lost Aunt who I hadn't seen since going on depo 2 years prior. Yeah, not fun. I thought maybe it would even out after a month or two and things stabalized. But, it in fact, did not. On top of it all, I just felt like crap period (no pun intended)!

So, I talked with Steve. I have been reading up on the "Fertility Awareness Method" - which, is essentially Natural Family Planning. They do however claim they are different than NFP because supposedly NFP encourages absitence during fertile times, whereas FAM says "do what you want! But you might want to use protection on certain days if you don't want a baby" - personally, I don't make the distinction between the two. The terms are interchangable to me, and, if someone wants to correct me, then, they can. Most likely, I'll just roll my eyes, say "whatever" and continue on with what I'm doing.

Anyway, FAM requires reading the signs of your own body, including basal body temperature, and checking "other stuff" which, for the sake of anyone who is squeamish I won't go into detail on. Anyone who has actively tried to have kids and practiced this should know exactly what I'm talking about. Basically, I use the same method those women do, only for the complete opposite purpose.

Back to my high energy crisis - the jist of it is, I was fertile yesterday, probably am today - so, I'm guessing that my high energy is probably directly related to this. Kind of interesting to find out.

My mom swears that, on June 9th of this year, I am going to call her and tell her I'm pregnant. I'm considering getting a puppy that day so I can call her and tell her she's a "grandma" to a new baby!

Fact or Myth, Brains or Brawn

Training for: Springtime Tallahassee 5K

 

Cardio: 0

Weights: Hoping to do upper body (2 chest, 2 back, 2 shoulder, 2 biceps, 2 triceps)

Calories Burned: depends on how long I lift

 

Food: Breakfast - Quaker Take Heart Blueberry Oatmeal - 160

         Lunch - Leftover Black bean soup & salad - ??

         Snack - maybe popcorn?? - 100

         Dinner - going to throw together some chicken/quinoa/veggie dish.

Total Food: not sure - but, everything has healthy ingredients so I'm not too worried

 

Self-Confidence: 7-8

 

I managed to keep up with my run yesterday pretty well.  It ended up being 4 miles, with a total of a half mine warm up/cool down.  I had to walk part of one of my recovery 400s because my knee started acting up, but, it went away thankfully.  I ended up burning closer to 500 calories than the original 400 I estimated. At least according to my HR monitor.  Probably because my HR averaged in the 160s and maxed out around 180. 

 

A friend of mine told me "You burn the same number of calories walking a mile as you do running a mile"

 

I am skeptical about this, despite the fact she explained that you're exerting more energy running, but for a shorter amount of time.  While the logic seems sound, I find it impossible to believe.  Mainly because I've been tracking my own calories during walking/running for some time now, and notice, that even if I do the *same* workout in the *same* amount of time, my calories are never the same workout to workout.  I believe this has to do with your heart rate.  My theory is that the calories you burn is directly related to what your heart rate is during exercise.  I found some information backing this up - though, they don't really mention heart rate. They do, however, mention energy exertion, which, in turn, raises your heart rate:

 

Fitness Myth: You Burn the Same Calories Walking or Running

 

Run, Don't Walk - The Truth About Running Versus Walking

 

Either way, walking or running, any form of exercise is good for you.  So, don't take this as me saying "walking is worthless" - but, I feel it is somewhat worthless for me, but only because I set high standards for myself and don't gravitate towards the "less is more" approach to things.  This is probably also why I end up with sore knees and shoulders.  But, I'm stubborn, so this will probably never change.

 

You know what - that workout at the bottom of the second link looks like fun - maybe I'll try it out soon.

 

I'm hoping today I can make it to the gym and do some lifting.  I've been pretty inconsistent with lifting lately.  Mostly because, I want to keep training/running for this 5K coming up, and, if I miss a day or two, I usually jump straight on the treadmill (or run Tom Brown Park) so that I don't get too unconditioned.  But, I know that lifting is essential to a healthy, well-balanced workout.  The only problem today is, since I was out of town and missed class on Tuesday, I need to hit the computer lab after class today to complete my lab that was due (which, I received an extension on).  Then, ideally, I'd also like to complete the lab assignment that is due *next* Tuesday as well, so I don't have to go to campus this weekend.  So, its going to be a battle of brains vs. brawn today after class.  We'll see which wins out.

Time to Re-Focus

Training for: Springtime Tallahassee 5K

 

Cardio: 7x400 interval training (about 3.75 miles) - around 400

1-mile walk on break (missed morning walk) - 83

Calories Burned: 483

 

Food: Breakfast - Quaker Take Heart Blueberry Oatmeal - 160

         Lunch - leftover steak quesadilla - ???  (more than I'd like to know)

         Snack - most likely, none

         Dinner - Black Bean Soup & Salad - 660

Total Food: 820 + quesadilla = more than I need

 

Self-Confidence: N/A

 

 

I survived the trip back to West Virginia, and am glad I went.  I was afraid people would ignore me or wonder what I was doing there since I never put any effort to keep in contact with that side of my family after I graduated high school.  But, quite the opposite occured.  Everyone was completely warm and loving, and I enjoyed my visit - despite the circumstances.  The funeral went well....as well as one could go, but I really wish my brother had been there.  I think being able to experience the love and togetherness this occasion brought would have been very beneficial to him.  Although he does plan to come back stateside within the coming months, his experience probably won't be the same.  It will however, be a good experience for him regardless.

 

Now its time to get down to business.  I have less than 4 weeks left to train for the Springtime Tallahassee 5K.  And seeing as how the last few weeks have been less than consistent, I really need to buckle down.  I haven't gotten any good interval/speed training in lately, which is what I am hoping to accomplish this afternoon.  I still have a goal of completing it in less than 30 mintues - even with the hills.  This means I need to average a 9:30 pace, which, is sounding easier and easier.  I think this weekend - after all my "chores" are done - I'm going to go run the 10K route around Myer's park and see what kind of pace I end up with a relaxing run.